Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She's "Learned", Lena Dunham
Fast Facts
- Dunham was reportedly paid $3.5 million to write this collection of personal essays
- At 288 pages, that's more than $12,000 a page (!!!)
- At the ripe old age of 28, Dunham has been nominated for 8 Emmy awards and won two Golden Globes
- She was the first woman to win the Directors Guild of America award for directorial achievement in comedy
- Jemima Kirke, who plays the rebellious best friend to Dunham's character in HBO's Girls, is one of Dunham's best friends - they met at St. Ann's School in Brooklyn
- And she's dating (and surely marrying, and having babies with) Jack Antonoff, the lead guitarist of the band Fun!
Background
Lena Dunham is relatively new to me, but I feel - as many people of my generation, and anyone who watches or reads her work, must - that I know her intimately. I have spent the last several weeks binge-watching all three seasons of Girls, listening to Dunham's interview with Marc Maron on his WTF podcast, reading an essay from this book that was previewed in The New Yorker, and now, gobbling up Not That Kind of Girl on my commute. (And, it's not enough. I will probably buy and watch Tiny Furniture tonight, and then go cry that she hasn't created more.)
The book of essays and lists is separated into five sections: Love and Sex; Body; Friendship; Work; and Big Picture.
Despite some of the heavy subject matter, the book feels generally bright, well-paced, and easy to consume in large quantities that don't feel large at the time (much the way I enjoyed Girls). Dunham is a very talented writer, and I am still most impressed by her New Yorker chapter "Therapy and Me", which struck me as impressive on its own.
The chapters, some admittedly more entertaining than others, but with an easy flow, are varied in format. Some are lists, some are essays, some are dated letters written to ex-boyfriends and amusingly over-footnoted by Present Lena.
Lena Dunham is relatively new to me, but I feel - as many people of my generation, and anyone who watches or reads her work, must - that I know her intimately. I have spent the last several weeks binge-watching all three seasons of Girls, listening to Dunham's interview with Marc Maron on his WTF podcast, reading an essay from this book that was previewed in The New Yorker, and now, gobbling up Not That Kind of Girl on my commute. (And, it's not enough. I will probably buy and watch Tiny Furniture tonight, and then go cry that she hasn't created more.)
The book of essays and lists is separated into five sections: Love and Sex; Body; Friendship; Work; and Big Picture.
Despite some of the heavy subject matter, the book feels generally bright, well-paced, and easy to consume in large quantities that don't feel large at the time (much the way I enjoyed Girls). Dunham is a very talented writer, and I am still most impressed by her New Yorker chapter "Therapy and Me", which struck me as impressive on its own.
The chapters, some admittedly more entertaining than others, but with an easy flow, are varied in format. Some are lists, some are essays, some are dated letters written to ex-boyfriends and amusingly over-footnoted by Present Lena.
Reasons why I wish I could be Lena Dunham
To be a little more like Lena Dunham, I could write this section in quippy list form. But really, the first place I need to turn to spark the deepest I'm-jealous-but-happy-for-her-and-society feelings is the Acknowledgments section.
Who does she acknowledge? "David, Esther, and the whole Remnick/Fein clan" - whom she thanks for friendship, wisdom, and matzo brie. Yes, Lena Dunham is on familiar enough terms with the editor of the New Yorker and his family that she not only writes frequently for the magazine, but she also eats meant-only-for-Passover treats with them.
Who else? Mike Birbiglia. Judd Apatow. B.J. Novak AND Mindy Kaling (naturally). David Sedaris. Zadie Smith. And of course, the book is dedicated to her friend and mentor, Nora Ephron.
(She's also BFFs with Taylor Swift. See: recent interview with TaySwift in People. Haters gonna hate, but even haters must turn a little green with envy at this revelation.)
How has this woman been alive almost as long as I have (I've only got 7 additional months of breathing-in-and-out experience on her,) and is so @#$(*&! accomplished that I can barely fathom it, and pens an acknowledgments section of a $3.5 million book filled with people that I love so much that, if I could only meet them and exchange just 7-10 words, I could die happy? I'm inspired. Inspired to wish I could be Lena Dunham.
But...
Reasons why I don't wish I could be Lena Dunham
There is a contingent out there on the interwebs that hates on Lena Dunham for exhibiting a "poor little rich girl" complex. With this book, maybe Dunham was engaging in the over-sharing she is famous for, as would be natural in a memoir. Maybe she was also trying to show her critics that her life hasn't been as easy as their simplistic Money = Happiness equation would allow.
Regardless, she does not paint herself in the most flattering light (and I'm not just talking about all of the Girls nudity.) Her sexual escapades are far from romanticized. Her struggles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and body image issues and therapy and dissociation are laid bare (pun sort-of intended).
In a particularly difficult-to-read section, she details the rape perpetrated on her in college by the campus Republican (given Oberlin's leanings, his identity was probably pinned down 4 seconds after the book came out). Dunham is brutally honest with herself and others, even as she sprinkles humor and wit throughout the telling of her most difficult moments.
Recounting such personal moments strikes me as a very brave act, but these moments also give me (very few) reasons that I don't wish I was her.
Bottom Line
This collection is engaging throughout, and remains true to Dunham's television style, which I also really enjoy. Jealousy aside, it wasn't my favorite book in the world, but I would certainly recommend it to friends looking for an entertaining read.
Most of all, it seems striking that someone so relatively young could have experienced enough to write a memoir that feels comprehensive and full. I'm looking forward to her follow-up advice in twenty years or so. I also look forward to aging with Lena Dunham, and relating to much, but not all, of what she has to over-share.
To be a little more like Lena Dunham, I could write this section in quippy list form. But really, the first place I need to turn to spark the deepest I'm-jealous-but-happy-for-her-and-society feelings is the Acknowledgments section.
Who does she acknowledge? "David, Esther, and the whole Remnick/Fein clan" - whom she thanks for friendship, wisdom, and matzo brie. Yes, Lena Dunham is on familiar enough terms with the editor of the New Yorker and his family that she not only writes frequently for the magazine, but she also eats meant-only-for-Passover treats with them.
Who else? Mike Birbiglia. Judd Apatow. B.J. Novak AND Mindy Kaling (naturally). David Sedaris. Zadie Smith. And of course, the book is dedicated to her friend and mentor, Nora Ephron.
(She's also BFFs with Taylor Swift. See: recent interview with TaySwift in People. Haters gonna hate, but even haters must turn a little green with envy at this revelation.)
How has this woman been alive almost as long as I have (I've only got 7 additional months of breathing-in-and-out experience on her,) and is so @#$(*&! accomplished that I can barely fathom it, and pens an acknowledgments section of a $3.5 million book filled with people that I love so much that, if I could only meet them and exchange just 7-10 words, I could die happy? I'm inspired. Inspired to wish I could be Lena Dunham.
But...
Reasons why I don't wish I could be Lena Dunham
There is a contingent out there on the interwebs that hates on Lena Dunham for exhibiting a "poor little rich girl" complex. With this book, maybe Dunham was engaging in the over-sharing she is famous for, as would be natural in a memoir. Maybe she was also trying to show her critics that her life hasn't been as easy as their simplistic Money = Happiness equation would allow.
Regardless, she does not paint herself in the most flattering light (and I'm not just talking about all of the Girls nudity.) Her sexual escapades are far from romanticized. Her struggles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and body image issues and therapy and dissociation are laid bare (pun sort-of intended).
In a particularly difficult-to-read section, she details the rape perpetrated on her in college by the campus Republican (given Oberlin's leanings, his identity was probably pinned down 4 seconds after the book came out). Dunham is brutally honest with herself and others, even as she sprinkles humor and wit throughout the telling of her most difficult moments.
Recounting such personal moments strikes me as a very brave act, but these moments also give me (very few) reasons that I don't wish I was her.
Bottom Line
This collection is engaging throughout, and remains true to Dunham's television style, which I also really enjoy. Jealousy aside, it wasn't my favorite book in the world, but I would certainly recommend it to friends looking for an entertaining read.
Most of all, it seems striking that someone so relatively young could have experienced enough to write a memoir that feels comprehensive and full. I'm looking forward to her follow-up advice in twenty years or so. I also look forward to aging with Lena Dunham, and relating to much, but not all, of what she has to over-share.
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